Archive for July, 2013

So I feel like today I sort of had a feel for what meditation should be like.  I know there are verse that talk about putting His word in my heart, meditating, thinking on it during the day.  So I’ve been thinking on the verses that talk about “keeping our eyes on Jesus” a lot lately.  Memorized the 3 or 4 verses around this a couple weeks ago I think.  Today I had to mow. Mowing takes me somewhere a little over an hour.  Usually I stick on a book or sermon to listen to, lately sometimes I’ll just try to pray in tongues.  Tried something different today.  I tried to just spend the time thinking on these verses.  So I end up taking over an hour just slowly talking through the verses, and thinking about every little piece.  It was amazing.  I know I had at least one or two new revelations on it.  I didn’t realize how much I could get out of little pieces of this.  Tell you what, let’s just go through it here real quick.

Since we have such a great cloud of witnesses surrounding us – Just came from Hebrews 11, hall of fame.  These witnesses were those who came before and hoped for more, but didn’t get it.  All of our heros of the faith.  They didn’t get to see the full promise where we are getting now.  So they are witnesses in that they are still invested in us to receive the full measure of the promise. They are watching along with us, cheering along, praying for us.  I think they actually actively help sometimes.  This should stir us up that they are there.  And to know this meant Paul must have seen them.

Let us throw aside every hindrance – Been thinking about this a lot lately.  Not sins, but anything that can slow me down.  Books, tv, movies, too much focus on anything other than God.  I’m narrowing down what I want, what I do, slowly becoming more of him

And the sin which so easily entangles – Probably the most obvious.  Sin entangles us, pulls us away from the Lord.  It actually limits our freedom and closely to Him.

Let us run with endurance the race – Our life is a race.  The finish line is not death, but life.  Eternal life.  Too often we look at holding on till we die, but really it’s holding on till we get the full eternal life.  As Jesus said, God is the not the god of the dead, but the living.  And since life is a race we run, we have to look at obstacles as things to overcome, to keep pushing.  Endurance means it’ll take a while, so we need to pace ourselves, and hold the course.

that is set before us – God prepared this for us.

Fixing our eyes on Jesus – The finish line.  In a race you just keep thinking on the finish and what you have to do to get there.  To try to not think about the pains, the obstacles, or other trials, you keep your focus on the end line.  We must try to focus more on Jesus than the trials we face.

The author(of our faith) – Makes sense he’s the author.  Jesus not only was there to create us, but it was his life that really brought us faith.  He came to show us what faith is, but also to pay the sins to bring us to him.  So he wrote our story of grace.

And perfecter of faith – Not sure here.  I think a big part is that He is active.  He is actively working to perfect us, usually we focus just on the holy spirit for this, but He’s involved.

Who for the joy set before Him – His joy was to bring us back.  That’s the reason He came right.  To pay the price to give us a path back to God.  So His joy is to have a relationship with us.

You get the picture.  I was amazed how much more I got out of it after just spending some time with it.  The more I’ve listened to Sadhu, the more I’ve decided this is one of the missing keys to my growth into the Lord.



So, this started with a comment from Sadhu in one of his series. I do not know if this was in the correct context, but it still caught me. He said something to the extent of when you get to a face to face relationship with The Lord, you can’t disobey anymore. I believe he said it like this. It wasn’t just sin, but knowing the will of The Lord and actively choosing against it. He said its like Moses, who acted against the word of The Lord and couldn’t enter the promised land. To my eyes it seems so harsh, Moses did so much to get them there, and didnt get to walk in for one mistake. As you draw closer to The Lord and the more glory is revealed to you, the more accountable you are.

Now I’ve already seen steps of holiness in my life, putting aside some things that are worth less than The Lord, the calling to walk more set apart, and yet I also see how quickly I can fall from some of these basic things. And I’m scared. I’m not too proud to admit that. I still disobey on purpose sometimes. So what if God opens it up to me, then I mess it up like I am likely to do and I’m done. What if I disqualify myself before I’ve even begun.

I know The Lord is compassionate, and patient to wait, yet he is righteous an holy, and to walk near him, I need to be that as well, and I just don’t know that I’m up for it.

[Week later]

We had a mini vacation in there as well, and I sort of took that time as well to take a step back.  Unlike other “Spiritual vacations”(as Sadhu calls them), I didn’t turn away from the Lord and get into sin, I just backed off on the actively seeking, still not the best, but like I said, I was thrown off.

So my result, it’s sort of like the disciples after Jesus told the crowds to eat his flesh and drink his blood and they all went off.  The disciples said something like “where else will we go, you have the words of life.”  What else can I do?  I can’t stand our churches trying to spiritualize so much of scripture.  Of taking away the Lord working in His people and attributing that to something the apostles did.  I’m tired of living a life so full of works and so devoid of Jesus.  I can’t imagine any other way.  I’m in.

This was about a week back, but basically I was spending some time in prayer that morning and asked God to help show me something that is causing me an issue.  Basically I’m asking for areas of my life that are blocking my relationship with Him so I know what to focus on.  After praying for that, I continued my morning time and moved on.

After this I get ready for church and start going to church.  Now let me preface that we had just had a long conversation the day before about something I was supposed to do in the morning and had forgotten, and how I really need to make sure and do this.  Well guess what I forgot?  Of course.  So in the car ride she asks if I did that, and I didn’t.  So this immediately makes me feel a bit stupid because I had just forgotten what we talked about the day before, that I should’ve known then.  My wife of course is a bit frustrated with me.  Now, rather than admitting I messed up again and being humble about it, I let my pride get hurt.  Then, as happens when you let your pride get in the way, I lash out…. like a 5-year old.  Seriously, I acted like a little child.  Which again makes me feel even more dumb.

So I was thinking that maybe there is something here the Lord is trying to show me.  Later in the day I put on Sadhu talking about Open Heavens, and he basically started by saying the first thing that can stop you from entering an open heaven, is pride.

1. God shows me I’m not that great in that I can’t remember simple things

2. God shows me how prideful I am in myself that it bothers me.

3. God shows me how foolish I am when I let my pride get hurt and lash out.

4. He gives me a message that points the finger right at what he’s showing me.

Ok, I got it.