So the last week I have been starting many of my prayers with “You are God, and I am not”.  I’ve been thinking of the verse which says those who want please God must believe that He is, and that He rewards those who seek Him.  That first part I’m realizing has much more to it.  Just believing that He is means I acknowledge that He’s God doesn’t really make sense.  Know that He is God, is knowing that He created me, that He put a destiny before me, that I live only out of grace from Him.  That each moment is my chance to show Him my love.  To know Him as God is to know that I am His, all His.

You see, I’ve been trying to work on my pride, there’s a lot of it.  Some obvious, but much of it is very sneaky.  So I’m trying to just acknowledge that He is God and realize how much everything must change just to acknowledge those few words.

Sorry for the big setup.  So I’m walking into work today.  I think for some reason a long walk into work my mind must just be clear for me to chat with God.  So I’m thinking a little on this and these words pop into my head.  “If I am God, then I AM GOD.”  It started just sounding like my normal thoughts, then the last part got loud.  How does a thought get loud, I’m not sure.  Not only was it loud, it was authoritative.  After hearing more of these preachers, I imagine the first part is like the Holy Spirit talking, but that last part is the Father.  The authority that would come from Him.  I figure that’s all I can handle, a loud thought.  But it shook me up.  It’s as if God was saying, “Hey, if I’m God, then you better understand that I really am God, and that means all else should fall away in light of that.  Your life is in my hands.  Your deeds are nothing compared to me.  If you say I am God, then I am everything.”

How do you react.  I’ve actualy wanted to just sit in his presence and meditate on that for a while and haven’t had the chance.  Busy day.  Guess that was probably a bad choice.  You make the chance for things like that.  But even now, I can think back through the words and I shudder.  Like i can still feel the effect of it all.

I fear that I have barely made progress on really making Him Lord of everything.  I am so much farther than I was even 6 months ago, yet, here I am.