So I’m struggling.  It really convicts me to read back in posts or in a journal to see that I feel like I’m in the same spot as months or even years ago.  It just seems wrong.  Mainly, I think I’m just not consistant.  and I let sin in.  I’m making a big effort on both, but I’ll talk about that more another time.

Here I want to go into Waiting.  I’m listening back to Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj again, and realizing that I keep messing it up.  At times I’ve made waiting a task.  I did 20 minutes, mark that off, why am I not more Godly?  Other times I’ve tried, but in the wrong way.  I try to force things or don’t have my heart in it.  So I was going back over some basics.  When he defined waiting on the Lord, he looked up several of the words used and used those or other things, but here’s the basic concepts for waiting.

  1. Be still
  2. Be quiet
  3. Be alone
  4. Anticpate of the Lord
  5. Be Humble
  6. Look for God and not an experience

Basically, make sure you’re along in a quiet place and stay still.  I started actually turning my phone to do not disturb.  I usually shoot for early morning, so I don’t get much but even emails may buzz and throw me.  I want no interruptions.

Humility.  Not always my strongest suit.  In this case, we know that everything that can come is from God.  We don’t deserve anything, we can’t earn it.  For now I just try to acknowledge that I’m here waiting for Him to speak.  I know its only by His grace that I will get anything.

Anticipate the Lord.  Neville talks about emotions.  If then you try to clear your mind, you focus upon the Lord.  Haven’t really gotten this down.  I either try to visualize Him, or just set my emotions/heart upon Him.  I try to sit in anticipation that He may show up.  That I may hear from Him.  Love Him.  That’s so important.

Looking for God.  One thing he empasized is that God is not an entertainer.  So if you’re looking for a vision for a vision’s sake, it won’t come.  If you want to see Heaven, it probably won’t happen.  God isn’t here to cater to our entertainment.  So I just make a point that I want God, and only God.  All these things are great, but my base goal is to come to know Him, to be with Him.

So I wait.

The Spirit and the bride say, “Come.” – Revelation 22:17