Archive for March, 2014

Lancaster Conference

Man, I want to go.  Neville Johnson, Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj, and Terry Bennett.  Haven’t listened to much of Terry, but I think so highly of these other two.  I’d have to cross most of the country to make it, so don’t know that I could even do it.  I’ve been trying to find any sort of itenerary for these guys, and haven’t had much luck, but I know the messages from last year really touched me.  If you can, I’d say go.


Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. – Psalm 51:11

What was David concerned about?  We too easily read this and objectify it.  We think of God rejecting David and moving on.  But what would that mean.  What does it mean for the presence to go away, unless we could actually know it’s there.  We think of it for some saints in the Bible but don’t personalize it.  David knew of the presence of the Lord.  He didn’t just see it hidden among the things that happened around him, he felt it.


For David, the presence is a tangible thing, something that He could feel and see.  David was accustomed to the presence.  Moses was accustomed to being face to face.  We unfortunately are used to using verses to declare things we don’t even feel.  What is the presence to us?

I’ve started back working through Neville’s series on the quest to walk with God.  Today I listened to the “The Language of Heaven”.  In this he was saying that to cultivate a relationship with God, we have to go where He is.  There were plenty of verses talking about being in the spirit, about Jesus being on earth and in Heaven at the same time.  I won’t go into all those, but just make the point that we are part spirit, and our spirit has access to heaven.  On rare occasions the Lord will come into our world, but for the most part, we have to enter into His realm to spend time with Him.  Another thing that just made things make sense, is that he says prophets(and some others) have gifts that actually make this easier for them.  Their gifts give them access to God that the average Christian doesn’t have at first.  Neville says that this is there so that they can help everyone else move into that as well.  This explains people like Bobby Conner who could see angels when he was a child.  For most of us, we have to do this the normal way.  We have to work at it.

As he talked about entering into the spiritual realm to commune with God, he stressed how important it was to keep an aware of God’s presence.  He said that this is the first step toward seeing the Lord and entering into His realm.  I believe this is also a step before using your imagination to see the Lord.  He said that we need our hearts right, because sin will take you out.  If you sin, confess it quickly or you may lose the rest of the day of being in His presence.  I can attest to this one.  There’s nothing like condemnation to stand between you and God.  If you leave the sin too long, it’s like your mind decides that God wouldn’t walk to talk to me and now you’re out of it for a while.

As for the practicality of this, he suggested going to read Practicing His Presence by Brother Lawrence.  There was actually a free Kindle version of just his letters out there too, hadn’t seen that before, it’s now on my phone.  I had read this years ago, and tried it out some them, but then fell off.  I then tried again when first starting this quest, and again, fell off.

We need to get to a constant awareness of the Lord’s presence.  This happens through our focus primarily. Thinking of the Lord consistently, putting our emotions on Him.  Loving Him in our hearts constantly.  We can do this but for a small time, but we must practice and practice until it becomes natural habit.  He said that starting out while will have to refocus your attention many times throughout the day.  That is fine, that is normal.  The longer you do this, the less you will have to try.  How do I find His presence?  I find it much easier now than I ever have in the past.  Years ago, I would only feel it when worshipping, and even that just sometimes.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving And His courts with praise. – Psalm 100:4

His presence comes easier now.  This is one are that I actually feel like I’ve made progress lately.  I’m not exactly sure what it is, the only thing I can think is that as I’ve given more effort and more focus toward being with the Lord, I’ve drawn close.  I forgot where the verse is that says “draw near to God and He will draw near to you”.  In the morning it’s still hard to get into His presence, this can take some time in worship and prayer.  Once I’m in though, coming back during the day is easier.  I can just stop, come before the Lord and speak to Him in my heart, and often find His presence.  Think of it like courting a woman.  If I were to leave flowers for my wife, send her texts, leave her notes, etc.  I bet she would come to see me sooner rather than later.  I would go out of my way to try and find her and just stay with her.  Same with the Lord.  My love for Him has grown, and that’s a lot of the key.

Now to take this the next step and try to continually keep an awareness of Him.  To bring Him into every part of my life.  I did a little better at this yesterday and found that I really didn’t have any actions I was ashamed of.  Guess it makes sense, if your heart is on the Lord, you’re much less likely to sin.  Looks like a chance to work on this self-discipline I spoke of.  If I’m serious about this, I need to make this work.

I find myself in a different state of mind than normal. How to explain. I’ve been here before but never for log. As I began to practice his presence more continually, I feel more of a relationship or fellowship with The Lord. When I sin, I feel the breaking of that and the shame. Much as Adam and Eve hid, so do I. I had become accustomed to coming before The Lord in peace, that when I feel dirty I don’t know what to do.

Repent obviously, ask for forgiveness. Then the next day I did it again. Now I find myself under attack. One time was weakness or accident, twice was purpose. I find that I have out things of this world above God. How do I come in fellowship when I feel like I’m tied down by a sin. How can I ask forgiveness again as I continue to abuse his grace. I find myself in even more condemnation than before

And there it is. As soon as you find condemnation, you should know he devil has come in. I didn’t catch that. Instead I hid. I found work to do, movies to keep my mind busy, I didn’t pray and wait, I just worked. Knowing sooner or later I would come back, there is no choice in my heart, for I am His. But I leave myself to suffer for a while. To let the pain soften my heart, to wait for the feelings of shame to subside.

This time The Lord called me back, in a subtle manner, but brought me to a place of quiet and said come here. Hesitant as I am, for I am ashamed, I begin to go into that place. My secret place of alone less with my Lord. I dare not look to Him at first, but I feel His call and I do. There’s not always words, often I think the words are mine as I attempt to put words to the feelings.

I waited too long to write this down or I could give a better account, but it was something like this.

Lord I’m here.
Look at me.
I don’t want to. I’ve hurt you. Look at the wounds I have caused(I imagine the nail wounds, the lashes) Look how I have turned against you.
Are you sorry
Of course, i have already asked forgiveness
Your grief shows your repentance as real.
But how can I come before you like this, how can I accept your love and peace when I continue to do this? (Somehow I implied here I should be punished)
Punishing yourself after sin is an even worse offense.
Really? How can that be?
If you think by hurting yourself you can make yourself acceptable to me, if you think that penance can gain forgiveness, then you are back into earning your salvation and not accepting my grace.
(This is where I just sit because I’m stupid, I do this a lot)

At this point I finally come back to acceptance and just stay with him a little and ponder this.

This is often how the conversations of my heart go. The more I go back and listen to Neville, the more I can see little bits. There is no clear picture, no clear word, no clear feeling, but a slight mixture of them all. As long as I don’t try and push it, there is a sort of flow to it. I suspect that if I can continue in purity and presence, that it will also become slowly clearer over time. So the words above do not take as the Lords’. I will let you know when I have a clear, undeniable word, but it’s more of my spirit trying to get it through my soul. Lots of junk, but every once in a while, something slips through.

I asked God how could I ever overcome sin when I am so bad at this, my answer was:

Start each day in brokenness and humility that God alone can see you through. That the walk with Christ is your only hope to success.

I am just finally, after 20 so years of salvation starting to get a little humility in me. I’m a little dense I guess.

So I wanted to just post a quick update of something I found interesting today. Yesterday I was listening to Neville Johnson’s message on “When God knocks on your door”. He talks about how God may try to get your attention thoughout the day, and how the Holy Spirit uses different methods to catch your attention and see if you will step away to listen. Some of these were songs stuck in your head that you didn’t start, hearing your name but knowing no one said it, sudden presence of The Lord, other things like this.

So this morning I wake up late and miss some time I wanted. But as I’m getting ready I realize there’s a song stuck in my head. It’s “I can transform you”, by no means a Christian song, yet there it was. Seemed odd. So I stopped to ask The Lord if that was him. As I pondered on that I felt like The Lord was saying that he can transform me, I can’t do it on my own.  I have been trying to rely upon myself too much when I am such a sinner, it’s only God’s grace that moves me along.  I can choose, but I need His strength to enable me.  So at this point I humbled myself and asked the Lord to help me to keep Him in my thoughts today.

I get to work, and lose Him for a while.  I get caught up in lots of things, so really not so surprising.  This time I get the line from a Frozen song stuck in my head “Love is an open door”.  After it being there for a while, I stop and think again, hmm, maybe this is God knocking again.  So again, I wander off and think for a little bit and try to just pray a little and listen.  I keep coming back to the “open door”, that we have to make it through a door.  Either the revelation open door in heaven or “I stand at the door and knock”, either way, love is part of the key.  I need to not only keep my mind upon him, but with love.  That it’s the love for the Lord that helps to open the door.

Then again, a few hours later, I step away from my desk and the presence just hits me.  Slight presence, but there, and no reason, I hadn’t thought about Him yet.  Again, the Lord was just calling to me, reminding me to walk with Him.  I asked the Holy Spirit to help me to keep Him in my thoughts, and He keeps knocking, keeps trying to get my attention.


So, I realized that part of my original idea(was it mine?) for this blog was that I see no one out there trying this.  I know there’s a part of this that should be personal between me and my Savior, but at the same time, we need encouragement, we need examples.  I mean, if it weren’t for Sadhu and Neville teaching this stuff, I’d have no chance.  So I want to get back to doing some personal updates of where I’m at, what I’m experiencing, rather than just posting the thoughts and revelations I get along the way.  Those are good too, but I hope to help to encourage others to go where I go, hopefully even more than me.

So, I’ll just go into the areas I am working on now


Not so hot here.  I was doing good for a while, but I’ve gotten into a inconsitent morning time where one day I’m up, the next I’m not.  So I’m not getting consistent morning times with the Lord.  Having said that, I’m much more consistent with my faithfulness, my focus and my love.  I may miss the morning, but I’m not going off on what I call “spiritual vacations” as much or as long.

Waiting upon the Lord

I still haven’t gotten to good here.  I can go about 10 minutes or so at the most of completely focusing.  I need to make a more concerted effort to clear my mind.  I do have periods where I can feel like I do come into “oneness” as Sadhu says, but not for very long periods, and nothing is very clear.


I’m doing better with staying in His presence.  I’m going back through the Practicing His Presence book and trying to apply this better.  I feel like I can come into His presence much easier than ever before in my life.  I have also gotten before at visualizing the Lord.  I have trouble with his face.  At times I feel like I may or may not see it, but I see more of His form, and I can do that more often.  So I’ve been practicing this during the day.  Mainly just trying to keep that constant awareness of Him.

Hearing the Lord

Not too much here.  I’m back to Neville’s series on hearing from God and answering when He knocks.  Need some time here as I start to stay in His presence.  I am having more periods in my “imagination” where I feel like the Lord is speaking to me, but nothing is clear enough for me to know if it’s my imagination or not.  I think according to Neville this can be how it starts, you just have to keep believing and pressing.

Waiting to renew your strength

This is off of Sadhu’s teaching that we don’t need the sleep we think we do, and that by waiting on the Lord He renews your strength.  That He will give back what you sacrifice.  I’ve not had much luck.  I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have the determination to stick it out or not, but for now I’ve put this aside.  Until I feel like I am waiting on the Lord better, I don’t want to push it too hard.  I feel like if I’m not really waiting, how does He strengthen me.


Doing better, but still a ways to go.  I have continued to give up more.  There’s really not a whole lot more of me that I could give up.  I have a couple tv shows I’ll watch, but that’s dwindled.  My main thing is family.  It’s hard to be willing to put anything He wants in front of family.  There are here and physical, I just know I have a tough time there.


I have made progress here.  I still have some of those original sins that I can’t seem to get fully free of, but they are dwindling.  I find myself living days where I actually feel good about it at the end of the day.  Where I don’t know of any sins I have committed against my Lord.  I’m sure I did, but those outright sins are the first that have to go.  I’m sure as I clean up, the Lord will continue to reveal to me other areas.  But He gives grace to the weak.  To those who don’t understand, He does.  But especially as I walk in His presence, I see a drastic difference in my temper, my attitude, my wanderings.

My beloved

I just want to put this in here as a personal goal.  When I hear the name of Jesus, I want to be brought to tears because He is so good.  I want to get emotional because of who my beloved is.  When I think on it, like now, it happens.  My eyes are watering as I type this, because He is so good.  But throughout the day, I forget.  I do my work, I am with my family, I eat, I talk, I live without Him always in my thoughts.  I forget how everything I have is from Him.  How apart from Him I am nothing.  How much He loved and gave for me.  Jesus…you are worthy.

That’s what I got for now.  I did this all off the top of my head.


I’ve thought about this a bit over the last day or two.  I think one of the biggest differences between some of these people like Neville and Sadhu may come down to something as simple as self-discipline.  They were called to ministry, I haven’t been(so far), and there is of course of lot of other stuff, but I believe their discipline is one of the things that sets them apart.

Take Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj for example.  Just listen to some of his stories about his past and you’ll see.  He spoke of when he got the revelation to get up at 3 in the morning everyday, and how he tried that.  He talked about how he’s just like us and that he would turn off his alarm and go back to sleep, but then you realize he did this for about 3 or 4 days, then got it down.  Also with waiting upon the Lord.  He talked about how the first day he could only make it 5 or 10 minutes, and each day he kept trying and trying until he could go for 30 minutes in perfect silence.  That took him a week.  I’ve been trying for months, maybe years, I’m still not there.  I tried getting up early(not the time he did), and I can’t even maintain that for the 7 days he says it takes to create a pattern for your body.

I think when he decides to do something, he does it.  He’s not going to flirt around with it like most of us do with New Year’s resolutions and diets.  We say how determined we are, then we get tired and exhausted with life and just don’t keep it up.  I find this in so many areas of my life.  I can’t help but think of the churches in Revelation 2 and 3.  “To them who overcome”.  We are meant to be overcomers.  Even if that’s as simple as overcoming our addiction to Dr Pepper(yeah, that’s me).  My wife and I joke that we can justify just about anything.  I’ll point out, that our anything is Dr. Pepper, dessert and pizza.  But we can always come up with an excuse to endulge ourselves.  I wonder what God thinks of our excuses to not fast, spend time with Him, praise Him, etc.

I think perhaps if we realized just how important discipline is.  If we realize that we try to do many of these things for the Lord, and what the great rewards are for those who persevere in Godly pursuits.  If I find some magic willpower, I’ll be sure to let you know.  Until then, I will just have to strengthen the purpose of my heart.  I am seeking the God of the universe, if I can’t manage to skip a meal every so often to pray, then I need to get over myself.  (Yeah, fasting often has been rough for me too).

One of my greatest fears revolves around this.  Possibly my biggest fear is to find myself at the end of my life before God, He will show me this table full of all the good things He prepared for me, then ask me when I didn’t use any of them.  Then I will weep.  I will weep that I was too content with my life to take the time to reach Him  I was too content to spend the effort to gain those gifts of His prepared for me.  I will weep that I would try so often to discipline myself to enter in, and give up just as often.  You see, the predominant spirit over our church is the Laodicean spirit.

“Because you say I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. – Revelation 3:17

We have so much that we think is going for us, that we’re content.  We seem ok, why fight?  Why struggle against our flesh and the world so much?  Why surrender it to God?  “Life is good”, we say(I have several of those shirts).  And we miss out.  We must overcome this spirit.  We do so by our choice.  It’s not by any strength we have, or any abilities we have cultivated.  The strength is from the Lord, the abilities our His.  All we have is our choice.  This morning I choose to get up early even though I feel tired, because I want the time with God.  Tomorrow I may choose to fast and spend the time in prayer to Him.

Let me encourage you just as I am newly motivated.  Stand.  When you choose something for the Lord, do it.  Don’t go back and forth, be big enough to do it for the Lord and stick with it.  It’s time to make goals and keep them.  Worst that happens is we fail.  Instead, we do even worse and just give up and not see it through.  Whether it works or not, I’m ready to stick with a choice and find out what happens.  I’m tired of wasting my time.  This world is about to start changing, God is starting to move, and I want to be ready.  When things start happening, I don’t want to be off guard, I want to be ready to help.

 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. – John 15:5

This is where it all hit me today. I was listening to Neville speak of real prayer being that we pray the will of God. Most of us just pray our will. To a certain extent it bothers us that we only do what God wants us to do, we may think we know better, but that’s what Jesus did. Jesus saw and heard the father and did that. Most of us barely hear anything. Rather than thinking that the problem is on our side, we made doctrines to explain it. We rely upon out leaders rather than upon our Lord.  I have thought about this often, I have tried to do this, but I just keep moving on.

So here I am, trying to reconcile this.  I pray the things that I think are right, but now I realize that it may not be the case.  I want to pray for healing of this person, but perhaps God handed them over to sickness for their good.  I want to pray my job to go well, but perhaps God has a different job in mind.  So I should be praying for the things he wants, but I don’t know what they are.

Then this verse finally sunk in:

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ. – Romans 10:17

Faith comes from hearing the word.  I always thought of this as the Bible, but it’s not only the Bible but everything God tells us.  We wonder how to pray with faith, we pray what God wants.  How do we know what He wants, but to listen.  If we want to have faith in what we are doing, we must be in His will.  Only way to know His will is to hear it from Him.  I can’t find faith in hearing things from a  pastor, or a teacher.  If they tell me what to do, I’ll take it as advice, but I won’t be able to find a miracle there.  I won’t find the supernatural there.

How to get this across?  I think it was just the realization that I can do nothing apart from Him.  We like to think we’re able to do something.  That to be completely obedient is to be a robot, but that’s not the case.  Instead anything we try to do on our own is nothing.  It gains us nothing.  Think about that.  How much of your life do you think was your own decisions.  Those times where you guessed at God’s will, were you right half the time, one fourth?  Its a scary thought.  To please Him we must have faith, we get faith by hearing, we hear from His Word.  So to hear is the first step to be pleasing.

Now what.  Many today believe hearing from God is 30% bible, 20% others, 15% feelings, 20% circumstances, and 15% hearing.  Sound about right?

I am convinced there is more.  I’m convinced there is a level of relationship where the Lord tells you what He would like from you.  He has a destiny prepared for us, our way is made, I think He wants to show us.  He is the good shepherd that leads His sheep.  But I guess as long as I’m happier with my life, as long as I keep making decisions based off of comfort and not belief, then I will continue to not hear.

Maybe it’s time to change.

Whether you want to call it an open house, having your eyes open, seeing the Lord, walking with the Lord, I don’t care. I’m just going to say walking with the Lord for now.

I hear Sadhu and Neville speak about how walking with the Lord is for everyone, and not just for the “spiritual giants”, and I believe, but it’s tough. I grew up too much where we honored those in the ministry at the cost of the rest. We took the feet and the hands and showed them to the rest of the body as the model. Yet, isn’t there much more to the body than the feet and hands. So to this day, I still see something like this and internally sometimes I think this is not for me because I am not a good Christian. I am not a pastor, I am not a (career) missionary.

It saddens me that I find myself there. Cause if I am there, how many others think less of themselves because they work or raise their family. How many of them like me feel less of themselves because they are not in a job where their mission is God. So let me ask, which is the higher calling, a pastor, or a laborer? Which pleases God more? I often envy those, whose daily job is to work for the Lord(directly). Sometimes I feel like that would be so much nicer than how much time I spend on things not directly related to the Lord. I know they will be held to a higher standard, especially those who teach.

What is there to stand between God and me. In the end, I am here to minister to Him. Part of that is obeying, spreading, praising. But it’s about Him, not about the mission. The mission is an outgrowth of Him.

I’m coming to understand that those feelings of ministry are in fact a signal of the church of our age trying to justify to themselves their goodness. Rather than knowing the Lord feelings for us, we dive into ministry to ease the pain and worry in our lives created by the lack of God Himself.

As I’ve thought more about this, I think God planned this for me. I look at some of the goofy things our church does for the sake of “church” and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do some of the things they have to do for ministry. In a way I feel like they have to compromise things, things I wouldn’t be willing to do. I wouldn’t be able to push every Sunday to guilt people into giving, rather I’d just trust the Lord. I wouldn’t be able to make my own plans, and then act like they are the Lordss. I’m not trying to be critical, but you can tell some plans are those of men and not God. They have too much logic in them. Anyway, the point is, I couldn’t be a minister at the church I am at, at least not as it is now.

I had to split this into parts, it was just getting too big.  First I needed a bit of back story to make the main point(part 2) make sense.

Yet this you do have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.  Revelation 2:6

Who were these people, for the Lord to say he hates them.  I can only remember one other group that Jesus ever spoke of that way, the Pharisees and teachers of the law.  It’s easy to look at them and condemn them, but harder to think of yourself then.  Imagine, these were the ministers, those who were educated and taught to lead the people.  It was these who dedicated their lives to God, who didn’t work in “worldly” jobs but worked for God.  And yet Jesus held so much against them.  They put a weight upon the people but wouldn’t help them.  They made everything look nice, but inwardly were wolves.  They set themselves above others.  They controlled God, so they controlled the people.  

Now lets go back to the Nicholaitans.  Nikos is the greek word for conquer, latos is the word for “the people”, but also where we got the word laity.  So there goal was to  to conquer the laity.  How would they do this?  Let’s think back to the early church.  In Acts we see the church expanded by leaps and bounds.  If you go back historically you find that they were persecuted and martyred constantly, yet this just continued to grow their numbers.  At this point the enemy decided to go to a different tactic.  If he couldn’t scare them away, he would infiltrate them.  His spirit worked itself into the church and started to make a new gospel.  One that sounded so much like the real thing, it could confuse believers.  Seems strange?  Think about this verse.

For false Christs and false prophets will arise and will show great signs and wonders, so as to mislead, if possible, even the elect. – Matthew 24:24

You see, if you look back at the word antichrist, it isn’t translated “against Christ”, but “another Christ”.  The devil moved in and started to try to control the church.  This started back when the church was combined with the beliefs of Rome at the time to make it the national religion.  Most people saw that as a huge triumph for Christianity, God saw it as a compromise, and He doesn’t like compromise.  This slowly led to the dark ages where all access to the word of God was taken from men.  The church controlled it all, you could only get to God through them.  Even to the point of paying for your loved ones to get to Heaven.  The Bible is clear, Jesus is the only way to God, not a minister, a priest or a pope.  The restoration came around and the common man was given access to the Bible again.

I wandered off track a little bit.  Back to Acts, already the enemy was coming in to undermine the church from within. To create a system rather than a relationship.  This is in part what Jesus described as the “wheat and the tares”.  It’s not an obvious enemy.  The wheats and the tares looked very similar, so it’s hard to tell which is which until the time of harvest.  Also, they’re growing with the wheat.  They are among us.  To remove them would remove some of the wheat.  You can see a similar difference between Cain and Able.  Able had revelation of blood, Cain had his hard works.  Cain worked harder, but got nothing for it, because he tried out of his own strength.

What is one of their major doctrines?  To put themselves between you and God. In acts they wanted the Gentiles to be circumcised. The wanted to place their laws upon the freedom of the new believers.  They wanted to buy their way in. We can see over time that they wanted the control of the church.  This is what I still see today.

I see it in the men’s conference I just went to that glorified those in the ministry as more valuable than everyone else.

I see it in a Facebook post from a youth minister that talked down upon those who have “jobs not related to furthering the gospel”. I guess he forgot that Paul made tents.

I see it when the church makes plans from their understanding, calls it the will of God, shames the people into giving money for it, and calls it a miracle if there are results.

These are the ones that want to pull in anyone who shows gifts and talents, when they seem them start to grow, and pull them into their system: their ministries, seminaries and committees. Now, I need to stop here and make one thing clear. These things are all wonderful in their place, but they are not a replacement for a relationship.  There is always good mixed in, wheat and tares.  In Jesus day there were Pharisees that followed Him.  Not only that, but I’d gamble to say most of the people doing this are good people with good motives, just led by the wrong spirit.  Most of our ministers are very sincere, but sincerity doesn’t make things right.  They know what they have learned or been taught, and bring that upon others.  They would rather use their intellect to lead than lean on God.  I see that with churches today.  We have our man-made programs.  We focus so much on getting the people’s money into the church, because the church knows best how to use it.   Unfortunately, most of us are happy to go to our churches and be told how to live. If we really get convicted, we serve in the church and believe that we are good Christians. When God begins to call us we decide we must “go into ministry”.

There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end it leads to death. – Proverbs 14:12

What happened to God being our Lord. What happened to the spirit of Jesus showing up and directing Paul. What happened to the voice of The Lord talking to Ananias who treated it as a common thing(Acts 9:10).  If you look, you’ll notice didn’t cringe, yell or cry like the Old Testament when God came to people, he just said “here am I”.  It’s hard to hear the Lord, but only because we’ve made it so.

[Now, don’t think that I feel like I’m better than these ministers.  In most cases I would say I’m not.  I’ve been part of the same system, I’ve been comfortable with the place I’m at and how blessed I am.  Obviously I’m trying to break free from that, but I know a lot of this looks like me condemning a lot of our wonderful men of God, and I really am not trying to do that, but I am trying to bring us back to the Lord in a real relationship.]

Bob Jones passed away

Guess I was sort of out of the loop the last couple weeks.  Looks like Bob Jones passed away on Valentines Day.  I’ve listened to a couple of messages from him, but never actually see him in person.  Based upon the words of others that I respect very highly, I have to consider him a great prophet and man of God.  Even though I have so little to do with him, I can’t help but be sadden by our loss and the Lord’s gain.  I believe He was used in so many ways by the Lord.

I know at one point he died and was sent back to help prepare the leaders for the end time harvest.  I can’t help but wonder if this marks a milestone.  If things are changing now, much like Moses passing away as they were to enter the promised land.  No revelation here, just curiosity.

Anyway, I just couldn’t go without dropping a post out here for him.