So, I realized that part of my original idea(was it mine?) for this blog was that I see no one out there trying this.  I know there’s a part of this that should be personal between me and my Savior, but at the same time, we need encouragement, we need examples.  I mean, if it weren’t for Sadhu and Neville teaching this stuff, I’d have no chance.  So I want to get back to doing some personal updates of where I’m at, what I’m experiencing, rather than just posting the thoughts and revelations I get along the way.  Those are good too, but I hope to help to encourage others to go where I go, hopefully even more than me.

So, I’ll just go into the areas I am working on now

Consistency

Not so hot here.  I was doing good for a while, but I’ve gotten into a inconsitent morning time where one day I’m up, the next I’m not.  So I’m not getting consistent morning times with the Lord.  Having said that, I’m much more consistent with my faithfulness, my focus and my love.  I may miss the morning, but I’m not going off on what I call “spiritual vacations” as much or as long.

Waiting upon the Lord

I still haven’t gotten to good here.  I can go about 10 minutes or so at the most of completely focusing.  I need to make a more concerted effort to clear my mind.  I do have periods where I can feel like I do come into “oneness” as Sadhu says, but not for very long periods, and nothing is very clear.

Presence

I’m doing better with staying in His presence.  I’m going back through the Practicing His Presence book and trying to apply this better.  I feel like I can come into His presence much easier than ever before in my life.  I have also gotten before at visualizing the Lord.  I have trouble with his face.  At times I feel like I may or may not see it, but I see more of His form, and I can do that more often.  So I’ve been practicing this during the day.  Mainly just trying to keep that constant awareness of Him.

Hearing the Lord

Not too much here.  I’m back to Neville’s series on hearing from God and answering when He knocks.  Need some time here as I start to stay in His presence.  I am having more periods in my “imagination” where I feel like the Lord is speaking to me, but nothing is clear enough for me to know if it’s my imagination or not.  I think according to Neville this can be how it starts, you just have to keep believing and pressing.

Waiting to renew your strength

This is off of Sadhu’s teaching that we don’t need the sleep we think we do, and that by waiting on the Lord He renews your strength.  That He will give back what you sacrifice.  I’ve not had much luck.  I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have the determination to stick it out or not, but for now I’ve put this aside.  Until I feel like I am waiting on the Lord better, I don’t want to push it too hard.  I feel like if I’m not really waiting, how does He strengthen me.

Bond-Servant

Doing better, but still a ways to go.  I have continued to give up more.  There’s really not a whole lot more of me that I could give up.  I have a couple tv shows I’ll watch, but that’s dwindled.  My main thing is family.  It’s hard to be willing to put anything He wants in front of family.  There are here and physical, I just know I have a tough time there.

Holiness

I have made progress here.  I still have some of those original sins that I can’t seem to get fully free of, but they are dwindling.  I find myself living days where I actually feel good about it at the end of the day.  Where I don’t know of any sins I have committed against my Lord.  I’m sure I did, but those outright sins are the first that have to go.  I’m sure as I clean up, the Lord will continue to reveal to me other areas.  But He gives grace to the weak.  To those who don’t understand, He does.  But especially as I walk in His presence, I see a drastic difference in my temper, my attitude, my wanderings.

My beloved

I just want to put this in here as a personal goal.  When I hear the name of Jesus, I want to be brought to tears because He is so good.  I want to get emotional because of who my beloved is.  When I think on it, like now, it happens.  My eyes are watering as I type this, because He is so good.  But throughout the day, I forget.  I do my work, I am with my family, I eat, I talk, I live without Him always in my thoughts.  I forget how everything I have is from Him.  How apart from Him I am nothing.  How much He loved and gave for me.  Jesus…you are worthy.

That’s what I got for now.  I did this all off the top of my head.

 

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