Archive for May, 2014


o, I started a series from Sadhu Sundar Selvaraj “A Rose for Jesus”.  It’s going through the different parts of the bridal relationship with Jesus.  The first two messages were what I would think of as the normal good messages from him, but the third sort of blew me away.  Seriously, if you want to rethink how you love Jesus, download this, listen to the 3rd message.  First of all it’s pretty funny.  Sadhu can be pretty entertaining and this ranks up there, but the truth and clarity with which he portrays that love for Jesus to be like the love between a husband and wife was just something else.  I’m having trouble thinking how to describe it anymore.  Amazing.  I’ve been listening to a lot from some of these guys, and this is one that may have changed how I pray forever.  I think this is a message that you could share with much of the body of Christ and have it touch them, even with those not as open to some of the experiences that Sadhu has.  It’s hard to deny the love.

Here’s the link to the webstore, you can find it on there.

An end to ritual

I seem to find myself falling off the road.  I remember Rick Joyner describing the road of life with having a ditch on either side, when you swing too far off either way, you fall in the ditch.  The two concepts I’ve struggled with lately are grace and works.

I want to know God, I want to see Him, to come into a fuller relationship with Him.  It’s only by His grace that this is possible, but I live there, it will never happen.  It takes works on my side.  “Draw near to God, and He will drawn near to you” (James 4:8).  Listening to Neville and Sadhu Sundar, I have made a list of all these attitudes and disciplines to put in place in my life to help get there.  Yes, I try some of that, and get so caught up there I fail.  There’s too many things, too much effort, too much me.

As so often, the problem occurs when you take your eyes off Jesus.  Morning prayer for the sake of getting in my morning prayer becomes a ritual.  Morning prayer because I can’t stand starting the day without spending time with my Lord, that makes progress.  Reading 3 chapters a day to make sure I read the Bible through in a year just leads to some knowledge, time spent meditating on a couple verses because the Word is Jesus and I want it to “richly dwell within me”(Colossians 3:15?), that will produce fruit.  Waiting upon God by finding a quiet time for XX minutes a day to prove I can do still probably has some effect by helping my mental discipline, but spending that in love waiting upon my Lord to speak(even if He doesn’t for a long time), changes my heart.

That religious spirit is so good at corrupting our attempts to draw near to God.  We hear that waking early for a quiet time is good, but when you try to and you’re doing it for the sake of doing it like I was this morning, then it gets overridden by other matters.  If like yesterday my whole desire was to spend time with my Lord, then I make it happen and it’s fruitful.

So now I’ve been bringing back many of these things I’ve tried in the past, but with a different heart.  I want in every part of my day to walk with thankfulness, praise, and love to my Lord.  I want that to always be on my mind.  While I work, while I drive, while I have those little spare moments.  Rather than distract myself with incessant facebook, worldly news sites, fictional materials, I read in the word, I spend time with my Lord, I dedicate my time to God Himself.  I do this by spending it on certain disciplines, but the discipline is toward my Lord, not toward a goal.

I should’ve written this in the moment.  During that short time of revelation, it’s like I have an anointing to really make my point, that I feel the power of the words.  Now I just sort of feel it, I feel like I’m speaking from my understanding more than from the spirit, but hopefully enough of the truth gets across that it can still help.  It seems like such a simple thing, but I think it makes all the difference in my  walk.

Started a new series from Neville Johnson called “Keys to the Kingdom“.   I’m only on the 3rd message but the first two were signficant enough I wanted to get some of this down.  I’m hoping it still sort of comes together in my head.

The first is about Thanksgiving.  How we should always have an attitude of thanksgiving in our hearts.  He sort of expands it to thanksgiving and praise, but mainly on thanksgiving.  How if we aren’t thankful, that it really blocks everything in our lives.  The second is about becoming love.  One of the points that really stuck with me is that verse that says “God is love”.  There’s only two things like that which we are told God “is”, love and light.

The two of these go together(at least in my mind) so much I’m going to talk about them together.  Part of this comes down to our attitude.  Our attitude determines our world.  We can choose to be happy, or choose to be unhappy.  It’s a choice.  We can be thankful, or we can have self-pity.  Our attitudes determine so much of our lives.  If you read from the words of Jesus, you find he was more focused upon our attitudes and our hearts than our actual deeds.  You want to be like God, then learn to love, everything.  He said multiple times this one phrase, something like, “When you lose the capacity to heart, then …”.  I don’t even remember the result, but most likely the heavens really open for you.  Just think about that, when you take on such love that you can’t hurt people anymore, what does that even look like.

He speaks of love as the river of life, the entry into the inner part of Heaven.  Feel free to go listen yourself to get this.  But he said this is what Enoch did.  He become such live, that he just walked into heaven one day.

So I see these, and realize this falls right into where I am.  I am still centered on practicing His presense.  A central part of that is just remembering Him, thanking Him, praising Him all day long.  Loving Him just fits right in.  But where I was trying to make it a practice, it needs to be an attitude.  I put on this attitude.  It’s not a deed I perform, but a person I become.

I have become more and more convinced that to make any Godly change in my life, I am helpless.  Something like this, I can maybe keep it up for a little bit, but I fall off it so quickly and utterly.  No matter how hard I try, I fail, miserably.  Until, that is, I put it all upon the Lord.  Until I come in complete humility, admitting that I want it so badly, but cannot do it myself.  Then I find help.  Over and over again, I find this to be the case, but I have trouble with that humility.

It might have been in the first message that he said what “Dying to self” was.  That it’s really an attitude we put on of repentance, brokenness, and humility.  I don’t really have any revelation here, other than I know I am helpless.  If I can stay in that spot, then it flows.

After one of the days of trying so hard to walk with the Lord, and failing so much, I come near the end of the day and he shows up.  Not that he wasn’t there before, but that His presence is suddenly with me.  I still don’t really know why, but I asked what do I do to make this happen earlier, to not loose so much of the day.  He told me to just stop trying so hard.  It’s all Him.  That’s one of those answers that also doesn’t really answer it cause we don’t understand.