Archive for August, 2014

I am continually amazed about how we become so dense.

This stems from listening to a message by Neville Johnson, I think from the Lancaster conference.  Still not finished with those messages yet.

Anyway, he spoke about how when he was younger that a Sunday School teacher told him he should read his Bible through every year.  That is how he should focus on reading the Bible.  So every day he has to read his chapters.  He said reading his Bible because such a chore until one day his dad pulled him aside and said “Neville, try this, just read your Bible until God speaks to you, and then stop.”

It’s so simple that we miss it.  I know I’ve thought things like this, but it’s like we’ve become so over-shadowed by legalism, doctrines, whatever, that we miss the point.  The point is it’s the word of God.  So read until you hear from Him.  Neville said that changed his life.  Suddenly reading the Bible was exciting because God was talking to him.

If we can just remember that his all is a relationship, we won’t miss such simple truths like this, 



I started listening to the messages from the Lancaster Prophetic conference.  Man.

So far I’m only about an hour into one of Neville’s messages, but already it’s pushed me so much.  

You can find them online here.

I had already started shooting for a deeper commitment with the Lord before I got ahold of these, and this just sealed that.  There’s so little time.  If you want to be in on what the Lord’s about a do, there’s a cutoff coming up.  I know that sounds strange, but that’s what Neville said.  Atonement next year(September) is the cutoff for something.  Things will continue to escalate after that.  I can give lots of quotes, but there’s so much coming, good and bad, that we must be ready.  As Neville says, the servants of God won’t survive the end.  You must go deeper.  It’s time to get out of the outer court and move in.

So I started this commitment about 2 or 3 days before the first message.  I’m not sure how to say it, but I want to make every moment a search for the Lord.  Every free moment I want to bring before Him, to reach for Him.  “You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart”.  More than before, my heart is determined, it’s focused.  When I come across a decision, it’s God.  Not saying I still don’t have my lazy moments, or other things I do.  I have a lot of commitments that aren’t bad, but I need to push more and more into Him.  To put my heart into the Spirit.

That was about a week ago, I got the messages about 3-4 days ago, and still I’ve only listened to most of the first message.  That’s because my world just went nuts.  It started shortly after i became more committed.  I was tested.  I remember thinking that I want to hold strong this time, and I did good the first day.  Then day 2 it got worse, then 3 was worse, 4 even more.  It’s amazing, one of those things you think can’t get worse, and it does.

Each day I’m getting through about 20 minutes of Neville talking, and each day I get little bits out of it to help me going.  It’s like the Lord has decided to push me through the hard way, but His grace is there.  Usually by now(by a day or two ago) I would’ve given up and just hid until the storm passed.  But like I said, there’s no time left.  It’s now or never.

And i want to see Him.

I want to know Him.

I can’t live this casual christianity anymore.  I am so weary of our games, of our doctrines that dim the awesomeness of the God of the universe.  He cannot be framed, He cannot be explained, He is GOD.

So here I am, at one of the best and worst times of my life.  Emotionally drained, lacking on sleep, fatigued, and determined.  

At least listen to Neville’s outer court message, I’m sure I will have much more to say in the next few days.  And I need to mention my dream from a while back, i’ve sat on that long enough.

I went back to listen to what I think is one of the most important messages from Neville.  It’s part of the quest to walk with God series, and its the section about seeking God.  I will probably add a little more later, but I just wanted to sort of talk out this first part now, so here you go.

We make some of this so hard.  I have done so much listening, reading, and some categorizing.  There’s a lot of things I have done, many of which are good.  I think a lot of them are necessary in their way.  I think in the end it’s definitely helped, in that I’ve created a lot of good habits.  Maybe not the exact right word, more like I’ve gotten good practice.  I’ve gotten better at meditating on the word, I can pray in the tongues more often, I’ve learned more about interceding and pouring my heart out and not just my mind.  Most importantly, I’m learning what it is to really follow.

So in this message Neville brought up the verses that so many of us know, Jeremiah 29:11-14

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord,

In particular I am focusing on the last 2 verses.  God said we would find Him when we search with all our hearts.  Guess I can tell you why I haven’t “found” God.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had small things here and there, but not really God.  Not really that deep personal experience I long so much for.  And here in front of me I’m staring at my answer.  “When you search for Me with all your heart”. 

Jesus told us “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened”.  So, according to Neville(and the Bible here), the entry is seek, ask, and knock with all our hearts, and to keep it up.

So like so many times before, I’ve set my heart upon the Lord to walk with Him.  To put aside the worldly things that pull me away.  To do whatever it takes to keep my heart pure before Him.  I can’t say I know how to fully give my heart, but I know what it feels like now when I compromise.  When I’ve set other things ahead.  I know that feel in my soul.  The focus is more on what you put in, that digging the rest out.  So I will put God in, I will make this my main goal, the overriding reason for everything.  I am tired of failing.  Perhaps this time I will not give in.


I am not a baptist
I am not a catholic
I am not a pentacostal
I am not a methodist
I am not a protestant

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved. – Colossians 3:12

The more I meditate upon this scripture, the more I am uncomfortable with how I have believed in the past.  The whole concept just seems wrong to me.  What does it mean if I say I’m a baptist?  It means that I have chosen a certain doctrine, a certain set of biblical idealogies as my prevailing belief under Christianity.  But see, that there is the issue. I have chosen something.

God chose me.  The verse above is clear.  We were chosen by God.  We didn’t look at all the religions and pick Christianity, and then look at Christianity and choose which interpretation of the Bible is right.  God picked us to be His children.  He choose us before the foundation of the world to bear His message.  What I feel like we were saying was that we know better.  Our pride led us to define ourselves as something.  Our lack of hearing led us to continue this path rather than following Him.

I think that’s much of the crux.  It the absence of seeking God out for ourselves,, we pick what we think is best.  We look for the place who’s beliefs most closely match ours.  We do this rather than devoting ourselves to knowing God for who He is, not who we want Him to be.  He is not so easily explained as we wish Him to be.  He is not so easily contained in our theologies.  He is God, He does what He wants.

So if you ask me what I am, what would I say?
I’m a Christian – Maybe, but that seems so watered down
I’m a servant of Christ – Good.
I’m a bond-servant of Christ – Don’t think I’m there yet
I’m chosen of God – Would be a bit confusing for a non-Christian, but still, has a ring to it.