Archive for November, 2016

Ok, so I was skimming over stuff from the past.  Man, I did a lot of posts in 2014, some in 2015, and then not much at all this year.  My bad…  Obviously from skimming, we had the health issues last year that just through off so much.  This year my work has taken it’s toll.  However, the last little bit I’m getting things going again here.  Two reasons:

  1. Aunt’s funeral – Somehow funerals always motivate me.  In this case it was actually the ride there, I was along and had the best alone time with God in a while.  One of the things that popped up was I need to start writing again.  Now, that’s not actually this blog, but my “book” that the Lord had me going on.  I say “book” because the quotes are super important there.  This is something I’m writing, but I don’t know if it’ll even be any good.  I hope so, since most I’m just plugging together the truth’s God has given me.  Anyway, so i’m putting more focus on that, which doesn’t help me to come here and write, but I will.  I find that when I get focused upon the Lord for any amount of time, things just come out.
  2. New book – How to See in the Spirit.  I’m going to get you guys a recap of the book and the good parts, but the short story is this is a guy going on our same journey ( just a number of years back ) and the methods and truths he’s learned upon the way.  He’s building upon a lot of the same guys ( plus more I haven’t listened to ), and as usual has shown more dedication than me ( sigh ).  But, he had a lot of real-world examples and insights that were great to here.  Much of it tells me I’m on a good path, just have to keep going and get more focused ( by more focused, I mean I get caught up in useless stuff too often ).  Anyway, I’m going back through the book and bookmarking things to get you a better write-up and some of the good stuff from that.

Since then, I’ve actually had several nights that I end up (for one reason or the other ) awake in the middle of the night, so I take the time to sit with the Lord and just pray, toungues, or wait.  Those have been some of the better times.  I feel like there’s little glimpses.  I mean, looking back, in one sense I feel like I haven’t come that far in 2 years ( and don’t get discouraged here, 2 years is because of my lack, not God’s.  Had I stayed focused this would’ve been better ).  At the same point, I see very different changes.  What was very uncommon early on to hear little things from the Lord, to feel like I get glimpses of Him or angels nearby at first, is more common now.  There are things I understand now and already take for granted that I didn’t know then.  So much of this process is getting those truths deep into you so you have the basis to build on.

So, all this to say, I’m back, and I hope to not take any more little sabbaticals on you guys.  God is good.

Oh, and I went off adding in a references page up top with some of the materials I’ve found the most helpful, and updating some links in my Journey Steps


Thoughts so far…

So, I had someone ask if I’ve had any new revelations over this journey, and that question sort of stuck with me over the evening, so thought I’d just sit and write out some thoughts.

  1. I am not steadfast
    Sadly, I’ve spent a lot of time on and off the trail.  Whether it’s not walking at all, sort of lost or aimlessly wandering, or just not giving it my all, I find myself easily side-tracked.
  2. The journey is hard
    I remember Neville saying that you’ll be attacked, but boy, I didn’t expect this.  And it’s not necessarily obvious or normal attacks.  I’ve had some health deals, but nothing big.  My wife had some big ones.  I’ve had relationship problems(normal enough stuff, nothing crazy here), very stressed at work, lack of time for anything, anxiety, money issues, and more.  Strangely, I’m often distracted by things that can be good, but just take too much.  It’s a very tough line to walk unless you just give in and put it on the Lord.  You cannot carry the burden.
  3. Openness is key, but is also greater than I imagined
    Through this path I’ve begun to see much of my selfishness, ambitions, lusts, etc.  Not necessarily bad, just self-centered parts.  You realize you’re not fully open when God begins to conflict with the things you like.  Books, movies, tv, sports, etc.  And for me, it’s not even that big.  I’m not a hunter, I don’t really watch sports, I don’t play video games.  Basically, I don’t have any hobbies that eat up my time.  And that precious little I have, I guard.  But I can’t.  It must be his.  I must be open to what He asks, to put Him first.  It’s hard to describe but I can tell better when I’m open like that, and it’s much less often than I ever realized in the past.  It’s the openness that accepts that it’s about God and not me, and I will drop the things I want to do what He desires.
  4. Try not to walk alone
    I have been alone in this.  Family doesn’t understand.  I’ve spoken with some of my friends on these topics, and at first they nod there head and understand but if I try to go a little deep, I just get that empty look.  I’ve mentioned before, the denomination I attend would by the whole not handle many of these topics well.  Walking alone is not good.  A big part of why I started this was hoping to find others along this path that I could discuss with.  People I could be open and encourage and find encouragement.  So if that’s you, comment, email, find others who will stand by you.

That’s all I can think for now.  Just wanted to kind of give a stream of thought post.  I am back to writing again ( not just this blog ), and hopefully I’ll stick with it.

As for me..
I have not seen Jesus with my eyes, but know it’s possible.
I see dimly in my mind, I hear occasionally in my thoughts, but not consistent.
I have not heard His voice, just the Spirit whispering.
I have not had clear visions, only slight dreams.

Basically I’m still at that point where you can try to explain it all away if you wanted to, but I won’t.  I just need to get back on target, cleanse myself, and focus upon him, laying all worthless pursuits aside.