Been off for a bit.  Partially it’s because of my other project, and partially because of some life changes that have been going on.  The biggest one that affects me is a possible job change.  I’ve been at my current job for a long time, over a decade.  I’m well established, I’ve done well, worked my way up, and have been taken care of, but it’s hard.  That’s another story for another day, but leads me up to this.  As with any change going on, what’s the thing you do, you pray and ask God what to do.  Add it to your prayer list.  You pray each day about it.  I can see the prayers now

“God should I take this job”

“God, show me the path”

“God, if this is your will, open up the door”

“God, if this isn’t your will, close the door”

“God I trust you, I know you’ll let me know”

And we pray.  And we pray.  Then we post a message on facebook asking for our friends to pray for our “unmentioned request”.  And then we look at all the goods and bads, ask advice of our family and friends, and make the best choice knowing that God has directed us.

..

Except, I can’t do it.

This is our start.  We start with our prayers to God.  We make our list, kneel down, and pray through them each day.  If we’re really Godly, we make our list of prayers for the week, because it’s just too much for one day.  We ask others to pray thinking that the more people that make a request to God, the more likely an answer.  Then we tweak the variables.  Maybe the combination of enough people and fasting will do it.  Maybe I need to give God more time.  If we’re not careful, it because a recipe for getting something from God.

As you become a Christian, you may have to start here.  Look at the Lord’s prayer.  It’s a pretty simple run through. Praise, adoration, repentence, asking, etc.  But then we try to apply that.  I think it’s a good model, but only as a model.  If it becomes an outline, you risk losing the relationship and making a transaction.

So no, I have trouble with this now.  I can’t just sit and run through a list, ask God to do things, and then move on.  My relationship is more precious.  So, let me think, what did I do this last time…

Funny thing is, I didn’t go praying every day during my quiet time.  I didn’t right it down or go broadcasting to others.  Family knew, but I didn’t ask others.  I trusted God.  I brought it to Him a couple times in passing, until it was getting close and I knew I really needed to hear His heart.  So one day I found myself home alone, which doesn’t happen that often and realized, now’s the time.  Now I hope I can convey this somehow, I really don’t have a handle on it myself in my mind, but here goes.  I was alone, and not rushed.  Both are still very important for me.  I need my mind to be quiet.  Then I sit, kneel, whatever.  Basically get into a position that I can be comfortable and not think about it.  Often if it’s “shorter” I’ll kneal.  If I’m waiting on God for a possibly longer time, I try to sit somewhere, just what I do.

Then I go to Him.  I don’t ask God to come, I don’t just start talking, but I lower myself.  I’m not important.  What I actually do is imagine myself first in my garden.  It’s a place I feel like the Lord has taken me before (only in my imagination, but isn’t that as real as anything). I come in, basically I imagine myself walking into the scene, and then I heard over to where I can picture Jesus.  For me it’s normally over in a certain spot, often I’ll imagine myself sitting by Him.  This is the first part that is hard to explain.  I don’t force it.  I open up the picture in my mind and what I’m going for, but then I sort of wait and see.  What it’s really doing inside is I’m opening myself up to the Lord.  I’m setting aside all my physical things, my worries, etc, and coming to just sit before Jesus.  Typically I’ll find some spot where I feel like I’m sitting before, next to, near,  the Lord.  Then I just sit for a minute and love Him.

Then we chat.  No, I’m not giving you a formula, I’m trying to give you a relationship. Sometimes I have to start with forgiveness.  I like it better when I can just come and talk.  In this case I worship him for a minute, and then I ask Him if I can come before the throne.  Remember the verse “come boldly before the throne of grace”.  The answer is always yes(at least the times I get an answer), but some reason reason I ask.  Maybe because I want Jesus to be with me.  I don’t feel like I should come before the throne on my own, something I do.  Then again I tend to have to imagine it.  I can only do that, because I’ve felt once before the Lord took me there in my imagination, so I just remember it the way it was.  Very unclear..  Let’s get that straight.  These are mostly fuzzy pictures with sort of a general direction and something up there.  I am not in a vision, I haven’t been caught up, I just feel like in my Spirit I go there, but using my imagination.  Think what you wish.

Then I bring my requests before God, and I wait.  Sometimes there’s nothing, sometimes there’s a lot.  Often in this sort of setting I’ve had a lot of back and forth with the Lord, jumped topics etc.  In this case, I brought it before Him and waited.  As I did, there were a lot of things that came to mind.  Some of them were things like my “other project” that requires more time.  Me having time to wait on Him.  Being available.  What I realized is I felt the Lord was showing me all the things I would have available if I were to take the new job. It frees me up for the things that He’s been leading me.  It lined up with some prophecy I had.  It lined up with some of the things I’ve felt God was personally leading me.

And so the decision was made.  I didn’t have any actual words this time, just the aligning of vision, and the peace that comes with the spirit speaking to you.

Since then there’s been a lot of doubts come on, a lot of questions, and yet, i haven’t wavered in the end.  The basic vision is clear and there I go.

 

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