Let me just start with a quick update, I let a book pull me away.  Forgot how long it’s been since my last post, but obviously I was doing good, I think I got pulled away, came back, then I started listening to a book.  I need to go turn that off.  I get so caught up in books that it begins to dominate my thoughts and basically becomes an idol.  So for about 1-2 weeks, I was so caught up with the book that I lost sight of the important things.  It’s been a while since I’ve even been able to get some good time to wait on the Lord.

So the other day I’m praying and I’m trying to talk with the Lord about this journey.  I asked him if I should even be focused on this.  There’s so much else I could focus on, I’m sure if I asked a lot of people in the church or especially pastor’s, they could come up with “better” ways to use my time for the church.  I could be serving in lots of ways, even trying to help lead a group of men in the mornings like I’ve done before, yet I am jealous of this time.  I want to have my quiet times, I want to try and pull closer to the Lord.  So I asked Him if this effort to see Him was worthwhile.  The answer I got back was “How much is it worth”.

That’s it.  But that phrase kept going over in my head.  So I thought about it.  How much would it be wroth to see the Lord.  To be able to have a conversation with Him?  How much would it be worth to see where He is moving around me?  How much would it be worth to be so open to His presence that He can talk to me anytime and tell me things?  How much would it be worth to hear the secrets He wishes to reveal?  The answer is everything.  To have this sort of walk with the lord is worth more than anything else I can come up with.  Imagine how much more productive we can be for Him when we truly know Him.

I am reminded of the parables of the Kingdom, the treasure in the field, the pearl of great price.  In those parables, the Kingdom was worth more than anything else these people had.  I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound like the typical salvation of Americans.  We teach it as being saved, but when you look at our lives, salvation isn’t something we give all up for.  In some countries maybe, but not for us.  I have no revelation for this for now, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s not salvation, but relationship that is worth it all.  For this relationship we must give so much of our lives up to sanctify ourselves and get there.  I don’t have the right words for this for now and I don’t want to make it works based, yet there’s some of that there.  The struggle, the journey prepares us for the prize.  And oh there’s a cost.  I have paid some of it already, I see much more.  The cost of living with the fire.